Well, life has been very, very busy as I'm two months late in announcing this and writing her birth story, but I am pleased to announce that my infertility journey has successfully come full circle as Kaitlyn is here! She arrived on her due date (yes, it appears as though she's a bit OCD like her momma, so she wanted to come when she was supposed to), Monday, June 21st at 12:43, after almost 20 hours of labor and THREE hours of pushing! She weighed 7 lbs., 1.8 ozs and was 20 inches long.
Considering she was behind in everything throughout the IVF process and throughout my pregnancy, I really thought she was going to be late. I had even worried about having to fight my OB because I was sure the topic of induction would come up since I was not dilated or showing any signs of labor at all up to the last OB appointment. I had completed my last day of work on Friday, June 18th and was feeling great, so I was looking forward to a planned "date day" (sleeping in, lunch at a yummy Thai restaurant, and even a matinee) with my husband on her due date and a few days off from work to relax, organize some things around the house, and doing some last minute things to prepare for Kaitlyn's arrival. Well, none of those things ever happened and Miss Kaitlyn has been in charge of my schedule ever since.
I got a manicure and pedicure on Saturday, June 19th as preparation for my husband and my date day. The manicurist was surprised how close my due date was since I wasn't showing that much. I joked with her about how pedicures were supposed to make women go into labor. She then told me that she had a client on Mother's Day who started to not feel well immediately after her pedicure and she had to call her husband to pick her up because she feared that she was going into labor! My manicurist wasn't sure if she ended up delivering that night or not, but I joked with her that if she did, the manicurist should tell every pregnant woman that her pedicures are a good way to get labor started!
I went to bed around midnight that night. My husband ended up playing PlayStation until 2 am! I got up to go to the bathroom at 4:30 am on Sunday, June 20th (Father's Day) and had to get there very quickly because I felt I was going to pee as soon as I rolled over to get out of bed. I made it to the toilet in the nick of time and I felt a huge gush of what I thought was pee come out of me. I soon realized that this probably was my water breaking since it took a long time to stop. I sat there for a moment and thought, "no...this isn't supposed to happen now...I still need a few more days. What should I do? Should I wake my husband?" I was tired (and nervous) and didn't want to head to the hospital this early in the morning. However, since I was GBS positive, I knew I needed to get there, even if I wasn't experiencing any contractions. So, I went back to my bed, rubbed my husband's back and said, "Honey...I think my water just broke." He got up without any hesitation and I told him I was going to take my shower. I continued to leak fluid during and after the shower...I was surprised at how much I leaked, especially since I gushed so much at first. I was nervous about what was to come (and wondered if I was ready for this huge life change), but I felt pretty well-prepared and thought if this was really it, we were ready for the most part. I think my husband was a bit nervous because he ended up putting the things I had laid out into my "Go Bag" and was ready before I was. I put on a cute black little shirt and asked him to take a picture of me before we left life at our home was we know it. The drive to the hospital was great - it was a little after 5:00 am and no one was on the road. The sun was just coming up and it looked like it was going to be a beautiful day. My husband almost ended up hitting at least two birds on the way, though! That's when I figured he must have been a bit nervous because I can't think of any other times where he's almost hit a bird when we were out and about! (Granted, there were a lot of them flying around - the early morning must be their time to get things done, ha ha).
We made it to the hospital at about 5:30 am - just about an hour or so before the next shift, so the hospital staff didn't seem very enthused that we were there, so we felt kind of uncomfortable. I don't think anyone was in triage or even in labor when we got there. (Since it was a Sunday, there were no scheduled inductions or c-sections that day). The rest of the day and subsequent hospital stay was kind of a blur, but I'll try to re-count it as well as I can. The nurse checked me out in triage (and wasn't in the mood for humor when we joked with her with something regarding me being allergic to cats and her thinking we could have domestic abuse issues). She or another nurse confirmed that my water had indeed broken, so they admitted me and advised me to start walking because I was only 1 cm dilated and I think 50% effaced. We dropped my stuff off in the room and started to walk a few laps around the unit. I can't remember all of the details about the rest of the day, so I will recap the highlights.
My parents arrived around 10:30 or 11:00 am. Unfortunately, the walking didn't help me to make much more progress, so when the OB (Dr. Keith) checked on me, she told me that they'd probably have to start me on PIT. Ugh. I so didn't want to be induced and was ready for a fight. However, Dr. Keith told us that since my water had broken, I would need to be induced to get things going because I could be putting Kaitlyn at risk for being in utero for so long without my amniotic fluid. So, I decided to go ahead and get it (and then get the epidural, too, because I figured the contractions would become more difficult to manage if I was on PIT). I think about two hours had passed before I started to feel the contractions and they were pretty intense. They were more bearable once my husband rubbed my back, but I could tell I was going to be in for a rough ride if I didn't get the epidural. Around 2 or 3, I still hadn't progressed that much, yet the contractions were pretty strong. I decided to ask for the epidural at that point. My husband and I weren't very fond of the anesthesiologist because he was pretty gruff. When he found out that I had scoliosis (and had to wear a back brace because of how severe it had been), he told us that he didn't know if he was going to be able to administer the epidural successfully. That scared us, especially since I was starting to get scared about how I was going to be able to stay still enough for him to administer it, but I got through it and the anesthesiologist was able to successfully administer it on the first try - thank goodness. After that, I didn't feel any pain (or even pressure, for that matter) for the duration of the labor and delivery. Unfortunately, I was no longer able to walk around the room after it was administered, so I was confined to wait in bed until Kaitlyn arrived. I think this was the point that they also inserted a catheter into me.
So then we waited...and waited...and waited. Considering the length of the labor, I needed fluid pumped into my uterus. Either the fluid or the epidural made me very cold, so I experienced chills for several hours. At one point (I think because Kaitlyn had dropped a bit), Dr. Keith also had to apply a monitoring device to Kaitlyn's head to better monitor her heartbeat. This further restricted my movement and the nurse on duty (who we weren't very fond of because she didn't seem to be very caring - she didn't adjust my pillows, empty out my urine bucket from when I was going to the bathroom, or give me fresh bed pads to catch all of the fluid that was leaking out of me) didn't want me to move around. Luckily, my doula, Alex, proved to be very helpful because she helped to re-position me throughout the night, gave me a lot of massages to help keep me comfortable, and asked the next nurse on duty (Catherine, who was wonderful) for fresh bed pads and blankets and to empty the urine bucket. During this waiting period, I just chit-chatted with my husband, parents, and sister-in-law. The time went pretty quickly, but I was ready for it to be over so we could meet our little girl. Everyone was placing bets on when I would deliver her - the latest time guessed was around 9 or 10 pm and I thought I'd definitely not see that time without child! Well, around 10:00 or 10:30 pm, Dr. Keith (or Catherine) told me I could start to push because I was finally ready. I didn't feel any differently than I did when I was just 1 cm dilated. Dr. Keith told me that it could take anywhere from a few minutes to three hours. I thought three hours seemed like an insane amount of time to push and that I was going to deliver within a few pushes. Well, Dr. Keith had to stop by at least two times to simply leave again since Kaitlyn was still not ready to make her appearance. I can't remember when Dr. Keith finally came back and started to "suit up" but it had been quite a while and I was excited to see her and get this over with. I had tried to push in many different positions, but nothing seemed to work overly well. I was surprised at how I didn't experience any pain at all during the pushing process...and I was also surprised that the pushing didn't require me to push constantly. I had to push three or four times when each contraction hit (my husband watched the monitor and told me when the contraction was starting) and the contractions came about every two to three minutes, so I got a nice little break in between each contraction. The longer the time went on, though, the shorter the time felt between contractions, so it was tiring. Around midnight it looked like Kaitlyn was just about ready to come out into the world. Her head had started to crown...but then she changed her mind and no matter how hard I tried to push, she just stayed there! A nurse came into the room and told us that she had never seen a baby stay so long at that position. Go figure! There was a lady in the room next to me who had arrived long after I did that was pushing at the same time I was. I thought for sure I would deliver before she did, but we heard her baby's cries a good amount of time before we heard ours! I think everyone in our delivery room was shocked at how long this was taking. I remember thinking that there was no way I was ever going to get her out and the doctor was going to have to get her out another way. However, I was too afraid to ask what would happen if I couldn't push her out because I didn't want to hear the answer (that she's either have to cut me, use forceps (or something like that), or that we'd probably have to convert to a C-Section...after all of this)! My husband, Dr. Keith, Alex, and Catherine were all cheering me on during each push and telling me that I was getting so close. Someone asked me to reach down and feel Kaitlyn's head so I had some additional motivation to keep on going. My husband told me that he while he kept telling me she was soon going to be out that he thought there was no way it was going to happen anytime soon. Finally, at 12:43 am, Kaitlyn decided she was ready to make her grand appearance. I remember that final push and feeling such a sense of relief and happiness that she had finally made it!
Since Kaitlyn had her cord wrapped around her a few times, she had to be taken over to the warmer right away so she could be attended to. She had ingested so much fluid, a NICU nurse had to put a suction tube down her throat to clear it. Luckily, my husband was able to be right there with her while this was going on. I was a bit worried about her state (especially since she wasn't crying or moving), but felt confident that she was going to be ok. I remember looking over at her and feeling so bad for everything she had been through and was going through now. What a dramatic change for a baby who had been so snug, secure and comfortable for nine months to come into the world in such a fashion. After what seemed like too long, Kaitlyn started to cry a little bit and was brought over to me. Her most striking feature was her cute, long toes! My parents and Karen were alerted that Kaitlyn was finally here, so they came in and took lots of pictures. As for the other stuff, Dr. Keith delivered my placenta when the nurses were working on Kaitlyn and stitched me up. I didn't actually have to do anything to push the placenta out. Dr. Keith also told me that I only had minimal tearing and didn't require too many stitches, so that was good too.
I remember trying to breastfeed Kaitlyn for the first time while we were still in the delivery room and it went well. At about 3:30 am (and after finally finding food appealing again - yay!), I was finally wheeled to the recovery room and my husband and everyone else left the hospital. Kaitlyn and I had a few more minutes to get acquainted. I remember looking over at her in the bassinet and she looked at me with these big eyes and I felt as though we sealed our bond at that moment. The rest of my stay in the hospital was a blur - and since most of the memories I do have of it aren't fond ones, I won't detail them in this story.
Despite the rough delivery and recovery period (not to mention just trying to get used to all of the basics of what parenting involves and how much stress having a newborn can put on a couple), I wouldn't have asked for a different outcome. My husband and I are so incredibly blessed with this miraculous little girl who continues to warm our hearts each and every day with her growth, development and budding personality. I am grateful that I have been able to take off of work for five or six months and love seeing how each day will unfold. I could watch her for hours - whether she was sleeping or awake. The love that I feel for this little child is more than I ever imagined it would be and I just hope that my husband and I can help her to grow into a very happy and healthy individual. While I can't wait to see what she will be like, I am also cherishing each and every day and stage that unfolds in the present. We waited a very, very long time for this precious little one and it was well worth the wait. She's currently sleeping in her car seat after a successful trip to the grocery store and I'm already looking forward to greeting her for her next feeding, changing and playtime already.
Dear little Kaitlyn -- your father and I love you so very, very much and always will and we hope that you will never forget that. We will try our hardest to show you this each and every day. There will be times where we won't know what we're doing, but everything we do will be done with love.
