Home Dopplers....Don't Do It!! And More Spotting Scares....

I recently returned from an unexpected trip oversees that turned out to be quite stressful. In order to allay my fears that Murtle was still doing ok, I purchased one of the inexpensive home dopplers. I couldn't wait to use it last Tuesday evening and even summoned DH to join in on the fun (despite my initial reservations to even tell him about my purchase because I was afraid that I would confirm his fears that I had gone off the deep end). I was pleasantly surprised to see that while he did give me a bit of a good-natured hard time about it, he did seem eager to hear the little heartbeat again, too. So, headphones on and probe all lubed up, we listened to my heartbeat to make sure the doppler was working and then tried to find little Murtle's galloping heartbeat. To my surprise, after several minutes of searching, we could only find what we thought was a heartbeat...but that was beating at about the same pace as mine. Uh-oh. So, I quietly put it away and tried to act as though I wasn't concerned...that it was just the result of user error, but I immediately headed downstairs to research the doppler I had purchased to see if anyone else had a similar experience, yet things turned out to be ok. Luckily, I did find some stories that re-assured me a bit, but until I could confirm that all was ok, I continued to worry. I ended up going to my OB's office the next morning and told them the whole embarassing story (and promised that I would throw the dumb thing away if all turned out ok) and asked if the nurse practioner ("NP") could use her doppler to find Murtle's heartbeat. Luckily, it appeared to be a slow day in the office and the NP agreed to see me. She was someone I hadn't seen before and I think I will see only her for all of my future GYN appointments because she was wonderfully supportive and sweet. We both heard Murtle's heartbeat going at 135 (I think) bpm and she said it was "perfect." While I was relieved that everything was much better than I had thought it was the previous evening, I couldn't help but worry and wonder why it had dropped from 160 just three weeks ago. I understand that heartbeat rates typically drop throughout a pregnancy until they stabilize, but that seemed to be a pretty significant drop. Whenever my fears start to creep up, I try to put them out of my mind and focus on her smiling face and her saying, "it's perfect."

Since then, I've noticed that while my nausea continues to serve as a good reminder that all is well, it has started to subside. Instead of actual nausea and total food aversion (that seemed to heighten every evening), I just have some fleeting moments of feeling "icky." I am 16 weeks and 3 days today and still am not showing, nor feeling any flutters. My research has led me to believe that this can be normal. So, I continued to have faith that all is still going well...until I noticed a bit of spotting yesterday. I came to terms with those few days of spotting in my first trimester because that seemed to happen to a lot of women who went on to have normal pregnancies and healthy babies. However, I didn't expect, nor was I prepared for a spotting re-appearance during my second trimester. Similar to the spotting I had in the first trimester, this was light and not accompanied by any painful cramps. I have been feeling some heaviness, pulling, and/or what could be stretching in my uterus, but I attributed this to my finally growing uterus and not to anything I could consider to be actual cramps. Anyway, to be on the safe side, I called my OB's office yesterday afternoon. The on-call OB, Dr. Edwards, told me basically the same advice I was given for the first trimester spotting: The spotting should not be a cause for concern unless it was heavy and/or accompanied by painful cramping. She told me just to take it easy and keep an eye on things. So, that's what I did and today it seems that all is ok. I am looking forward to my next regularly scheduled OB appointment on Wednesday to hear Murtle's heartbeat again. Taking things a day at a time during a pregnancy after infertility is much easier said than done. I know I said that I would be able to relax after I hit the 12 week mark and got the results of my NT screening. Now I'm wondering if I will be able to relax at all during this pregnancy. As of now, my goal to really start enjoying this pregnancy will be after I hit the 28 week mark. We can do this!!

Happy New Year, everyone! I'm really looking forward to 2010 - it should be one of the best years ever!