Final Beta - 22dp3dt

Well, so far I think I'm still on track. But I do need to stop researching beta numbers. I'm still pregnant. My fourth beta came in at 3493 at 25 DPO (22DP3DT). However, my doubling time is slowing down - it's now 85.16. This is the first time that it's below 48 hours. I should relax, though, because I have read that as pregnancies progress, the doubling times do slow down and the numbers double every 2-3 days. Three days would still be 72 hours, though. Hmmm. I guess I can't fully relax until the first ultrasound next Monday. In the meantime, I will try to go about my business and enjoy each day as it unfolds. I'm still not feeling any kind of pregnancy symptoms, but considering I'm just 5w4d today, I really shouldn't expect them to kick into gear until 6 or 7 weeks. In the meantime, I will have faith that Murtle was meant to be and I will remain as optimistic as possible!

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My nurse continues to remain optimistic and I just found this very helpful information that supports her optimism:

"A single HCG value doesn't give enough information about the health or viability of the pregnancy. Within the first 2-4 weeks after fertilization, HCG usually doubles every 48-72 hours. That usually corresponds to HCG levels below 1200 IU. From 1200-6000, the HCG usually takes 72-96 hours to double. Above 6000 IU, the hCG often takes over four days to double. So, the rate of increase in HCG levels normally varies as a pregnancy progresses. Normal HCG values vary up to 20 times between different pregnancies, however, and an HCG that does not double every two to three days does not necessarily indicate a problem with the pregnancy. Some normal pregnancies will have quite low levels of HCG, and result in perfect babies."

WHEW!!

Now I will relax...

Beta # 3 is in - 1944!! Murtle's going strong! Today is 22 DPO and it looks like my numbers are solidly rising. Thankfully, the spotting and bleeding have stopped, as well. Other than a 10 minute, rather tough, cramping episode today, I have no other symptoms of which to speak. But it is still early as I am only 5w1d along today. With that number and since I am no longer spotting, I will sit back, relax, and enjoy the journey ahead! I refuse to let PITS get the best of me again, so I will stay happy and focused that my husband and I really are going to have a baby!

Up next - final beta on Friday!

And NOW comes the hard part?! Are you kidding me?

I thought the hardest parts of having a baby when you're infertile is producing a healthy egg, getting that egg to fertilize, and then seeing if the embryo will implant. I thought that once you got past those hurdles, the rest should be gravy considering how difficult of a journey it was to get that far. Well, I was wrong. My friends on Fertile Thoughts call it PITS - Post Infertility Traumatic Stress Disorder and I think I have a full-fledged case of it now.

I should have been able to relax after my second beta number came in to show a strong and healthy rise. Well, I did relax - for about two days until the spotting began on Saturday night (at 4w5d). I remembered hearing that spotting during early pregnancy is normal, as long as its brown or pink and doesn't yield a high volume of bright red bleeding accompanied by cramping. Ok, fine. I will deal with the occasional spotting, then, if I must. I'd rather not have that additional worry, but it seems to be a relatively normal part of early pregnancies. Normal is good. To be on the safe side, I sent an email to Dr. Sacks just to let him know that I've been spotting and to get some additional re-assurance from him that everything should still be ok. He told me not to worry since my blood test results were normal, but to contact him if it got worse.

Well, it got worse this morning (5w0d) during a trip to the bathroom. The spotting turned into full-fledged bright red bleeding and was accompanied by some cramping afterwards. I talked to my nurse, Emily, who provided me with the warm re-assurance I needed. She said that many girls, especially after IVF for some reason, seem to experience bright red bleeding. In most cases, things turn out ok. To help alleviate my fears, she told me that I can return for another beta tomorrow (if I went today, I wouldn't get my results until tomorrow anyway - plus, if I'm just miscarrying now, my HCG levels would probably still be high, so I wouldn't trust the results anyway), but they can't do a sono yet because they wouldn't see anything. She advised me to track the amount of bleeding and keep her informed (e.g., if I needed more than a pad every few hours, which made me feel better because I'm just wearing a pantiliner). Luckily, it seems that the red bleeding has stopped. I'm back to spotting dull red / brown on the pantiliner and the toilet paper, so I hope this means that all is ok. Whatever happens will happen - it's really out of my control.

I'm Really Pregnant!!!

Yes, I know that I received my beta on Tuesday telling me that I was pregnant, but I think I was more nervous about yesterday's beta because I didn't know if Murtle was going to continue to thrive and grow. I should have known better than to doubt her! My second beta came in at 268 yesterday!!!

When I got the call from CFA and both Naidra and Emily were on the phone again, I figured they had good news for me. (There is no way two nurses would want to get on the phone to deliver bad news...they'd probably flip a coin to see who had to do that). Anyway, Naidra delivered my beta number and said that my first OB (!) ultrasound should be scheduled for sometime during my sixth week. Since I may be out of town then, I asked if I could schedule it for the Friday before that week. She said that I could, but cautioned that I may not be able to see a heartbeat by then. Emily then advised that I come in just for another beta that day to give me peace of mind that everything was progressing smoothly and then to schedule the OB ultrasound sometime during my seventh week. So, I'm going to do that.

When I told Emily that I realize that I won't be out of the woods for the first 12 weeks, she reassured me by saying that while miscarriages can happen, my beta number and rise was so strong (in addition to the fact that I haven't even spotted a drop) that she feels pretty confident about my chances of having a successful pregnancy and is looking forward to getting baby pictures from us! I asked her how Dr. Sacks felt about my results and she said that he had been doing dances. I wouldn't be surprised if that was actually true!

Speaking of Dr. Sacks - when I was in the upstairs waiting room to get my blood drawn yesterday morning, he was in the receptionist's area and saw me sitting in the waiting room. He popped out to see me and simply said something like, "pretty neat, huh?" I obviously agreed and he said that he'd wait to see what yesterday's beta was going to bring. I told him that I was going to keep my fingers crossed and he said that he was keeping everything crossed. He then asked how my DH was feeling. By him just taking those five minutes to pop out to see me made me feel so good.

Anyway, my next step is to return for a follow-up beta next Friday, have my first ultrasound (where I will hopefully get to see a heartbeat) at six weeks and then return to CFA for my final OB ultrasound at eight weeks (at which point my husband and I should be able to hear the heartbeat). If all still looks well, I then get to graduate to an OB!

I'm sure that there will be many questions and things for my husband and I to learn over these next few weeks and months, but I'm looking forward to each day!

A Line IS a Line!

Well, it looks like I can add to the ever increasing ranks of an "It Only Takes One (IOTO)" success story! I'm pregnant! My beta was 100!! Two of my nurses (Naidra and Emily) from Dr. Sacks' office called to share the good news. I never expected to see a + HPT test, let alone receive a solid beta number. Wow. I can't believe this is happening. Thank you everyone for all of your support and prayers along the way. I appreciate it more than you know. If I can do this, ALL of us can!!

I suppose I have no choice now but to name the child Murtle - poor kid. :)

I return on Thursday for Beta # 2 - Hopefully Murtle continues to be as strong as he or she has proven thus far - Murtle's got a good, long life ahead!

Could there really be a second line?

I think I saw a second line on my HPT this morning. My temperature hasn't really dipped yet, either. DH also thinks that he saw one. I will continue to hold onto hope until my beta tomorrow!

Hope is a scary thing

For the first time since we've started TTC, I actually feel hopeful that I could be pregnant. But then I read the stats -- there's a 25% chance that my embryo will implant. And then I do research -- I haven't found much information on 9-cell embryos becoming real live babies. And then I pee on sticks -- all negatives since Sunday, 6 days past egg retrieval (yes, I know - waaay too early to determine anything). And then I feel "symptoms" -- but attribute them to progesterone. And then I remember I'm old -- or at least have old eggs. And so my thoughts continue.

However, I started this blog because not only did I want to have a record of my journey to having my family, but since I was so convinced when I started that I'll be a mother one day, I wanted to share my success story to others who feel hopeless when they learn they are part of the high FSH club.

So, in honor of providing hope and support to others and in the event that I see a + on a pee stick at some point, here are the "symptoms" I've experienced so far:

5DPO - 8 DPO: Typical AF / Intestinal Cramping and Tender (.)(.)

6DPO: Minor Acne Breakout

7DPO: Backache

9 DPO: Minor Dizzy Spell / Different type of "Cramping" - I felt a different type of sensation - It felt almost as though I had done some lower ab work the day or two prior, but I have not exercised in ages.

So that's it for now. I got excited about yesterday's cramps because they felt different and different could be good! But they have not made a repeat performance today and my temperature continues to be in line with my temperatures from previous BFN cycles at this point in my luteal phase. The only difference is that instead of going "up / down / up / down" during this time period, my temperatures have been really close together starting at 7 DPO.

So, I will continue on and hope for the best until AF shows and / or the beta results are in.

PUPO!

Murtle is safely inside "her" momma now, so it's up to Murtle to figure out if he or she wants us as parents! She was a 9-cell, grade 2 embaby with a slight bit of fragmentation. She had grown from a 4-cell embryo from yesterday. Dr. Sacks and his staff were again fabulous and took great care of us to make sure we felt comfortable and at ease. The egg transfer itself went pretty smoothly. It was a bit uncomfortable because the wand was on my bladder and I started to feel some cramping. Luckily, it was over quickly and Dr. Sacks said that it was an easy transfer. However, I was afraid to move or even breathe afterwards because I didn't want to disrupt anything. I also didn't want to empty my bladder after the transfer because I thought I'd pee her right out of me! DH laughed and told me he needed to give me a sex ed refresher....

I still can't believe I'm PUPO, but I feel good and I'm already enjoying it. Beta will be on 10/13/09!